Identity

I have thought to myself many times recently that I should blog more. But every time it occurred to me, I argued with myself by saying something along the lines of, "You don't have anything really meaningful to say, so why would you write just to write?"

Then I thought about it, and I realized that to be a writer you just have to write. And since I would like to be a writer, that means that I should find something to write even when I don't "have anything really meaningful" that I have been thinking about.

And then, by what I truly consider a sort of divine providence, I was convicted of something to write about during my American Literature class this past Thursday: the question of identity. As I was pondering where we receive identity and how we are defined in this world, I encountered the question of identity again during a Ted Talk on the Problem of the Single Story. So I've decided that maybe this is something God wants me to ponder.

One of my ancestors that I know of emigrated from Scotland to America - specifically Connecticut if I recall correctly. I imagine that this great(x7)-grandfather, if asked the question "What is your ethnicity?" would have replied "Scottish" even after he lived in America for years. Probably his sons would have done the same. Perhaps even their sons. So when did it change?

To be honest, I have no answer for that question. I went to England this summer, and when people heard my accent, they would say, "Oh, are you American?" I always answered with an affirmative and never really second guessed it until now. It's one thing if someone asks, "Oh, are you from America?" Obviously, yes. I was born here and I was raised here. But am I American?

Ethnically, no. Ethnically, I am Scottish-German-American with a bunch of other small percentages thrown in there. I suppose since I do have a small amount of Native American blood in me, I can consider myself ethnically American as well - although by no means exclusively.

Geographically and politically, however, I suppose I am American. I won't go into politics here, because frankly, my personal political views have nothing to do with this post. On the other hand, it is definitely true that our world has begun to define identity by location and political leaning instead of ethnicity and cultural tradition.

I don't know if this is a positive or negative development - probably some of both. What I do know is that identity is changing. Collective identity is changing, personal identity is changing, and we have to be cautious about how much we let it define us. We have to understand identity, but we cannot let it be decided for us. We as citizens of a modern must learn to define ourselves - and I don't want to define myself by someone else's flippant but well-meaning question: "Are you American?"

I am American, but that is not all I am.

A Fresh Start

Welcome to the second semester of my Freshman year of college. So far...

I went to the Ganza with these gals...

And took snow pictures...

And did a bunch of other stuff that I don't have pictures of.

That all to say that the first month of the second semester has been brilliant, but busy. This week especially.

I decided to apply to be an RA so I'm in the middle of interviewing for that. Plus, we're doing a Secret Sister program on our hall (think Secret Santa) so I'm participating in that. And I have classes, of course. And it's the conference swim meet (which Grove City is hosting) so I'm life guarding a lot more than usual. And it's opening night of the two spring plays, one of which I am the sound chief for.

Regardless of all of that, though, the beginning of this semester has been such a blessing. It's been great to see all of my friends again, even though saying goodbye to the ones from home was hard. I have a nice class load this semester - not hard, but a lot of work.

So, basically, I'm just checking in to say that my fresh start to the new semester has been fabulous so far. I don't have any super exciting stories to tell, or any game-changing advice to give, but this blog is just a summary of my journey, so hey, you signed on for posts like this once in a while.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us." - Hebrews 12:1

The End of the Beginning

Approaching my first set of finals - ever - I feel like it is really the end of the beginning of my college career. I've had an incredible first semester. From the amazing opportunity to participate in Les Miserables, to all of the new friends I've made, to the classes I've taken, to the privilege I've been given of being named sound chief for GCC's upcoming production of Dancing at Lughnasa. So now on my fifth blog post (sorry, Mom, I'll post more next semester), in response to Thanksgiving, I've decided to reflect on all of the things I am thankful for in college so far.

First of all: Les Miserables. If you know me at all, you know that being a part of this show meant the absolute world to me. Every time I look back on it I thank God for letting all of the pieces fall into place: for Grove City doing the show this year, and for Dr. Dixon and the student director's giving me the chance to be a part of it. More than that, though, I'm thankful for the amazing cast I got to work with. Across the board, from the leads to my fellow ensemble members, everyone was so talented. I would name you all right now, but since there were forty-four cast members plus everyone in the pit and on the various crews, I'll stick to the "you know who you are." I can't wait to work with all of you in the future and again, you are all so so talented - don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Then there are these ladies. Debateably my five closest friends in college, but definitely the ones I hang out with the most. Left to right... Caroline, who is a fellow English major and going to London with me in May. We've bonded over how much we hate our music theory class, how excited we are for our trip, and how much of a pain memorizing poetry is for Brit Lit. Then there's Rachel, a Comm major, and one of the funniest, sweetest girls I've ever met. She was super awesome and let me stay at her house at fall break, and we've gotten to be super awesome friends, even though she stole my coveted spot in Acting class and isn't even enjoying it. But I get to go see her final play next weekend, and I'm sure she'll be phenomenal. In the polka dots is Lauren, my down-to-earth girl who made the wise decision of NOT declaring a major coming into college which in hindsight (though I'm happy in the English department) was a brilliant plan. Lauren is fun but practical and more dedicated than I will ever be to working out and being athletic, which I respect SO much. Tia is the Music major of the group - Music Business to be precise. She's taken on so much stuff in the music department and elsewhere this semester that I don't know how she's not going crazy, but somehow she's keeping it all together and manages to find time to go to Popcorn Parties for rush and play in the hand bell choir with me. (Skip the girl in the little black dress - that one's me.) In the lovely green dress is Mary who is hands down the nicest girl I've ever met. Sweet to the core, it's no wonder she's majoring in El Ed/Special Ed, which I respect because I could never do it. Nonetheless, she knows when and where to let loose and have fun, and our group of friends would not be the same without her.

And while I do spend most of my time hanging out with those five girls, I would be horribly remiss if I forgot to acknowledge all of these amazing ladies on my hall. There are 59 of us (including the RAs), so I'm still a bit overwhelmed and don't know half of them half as well as I would like, but they are all great great great gals. I'm particularly thankful for my roommates Tia (not to be confused with the Tia above, there are two of them) and Jordan, and my RAs Taylor and Ely (sitting in the front of this photo).

I'm also SUPER SUPER thankful that I had the chance to see the three beautiful faces in this picture for the first time in THREE MONTHS last week. I don't know who said "absence makes the heart grow fonder" (maybe everyone), but it is certainly true!! Particularly when it comes to me and lovely number three (A, you're number three because it rhymed), little sister Annika. And by little, I mean almost-seventeen-year-old, which few people in Pennsylvania seem to understand unless they know or I clarify. I think they're picturing a four-year-old, which (clearly) Annika is not. That all to say that we get along about three million times better than we did when we lived in the same house. Or at least we did when I went home. I got to spend an afternoon with each of those pictured above while I was home, and I can't wait to spend more time with them when I'm home again in a few short weeks! Well, days, really, since it's only 12 from now!

Finally, I'm really (REALLY) thankful that Christmas is almost here!! For a number of reasons...

1) That means the semester's almost over which means finals are almost over which means the classes that I'm taking that are really painful (cough, cough, 8am Civ) are almost over!

2) I get to see my family and friends again!!

3) It's my favorite holiday ever ever ever.

4) I get to brainstorm fun gifts to get / make for my family and friends which always makes the season for me.

Most important of all, though, I'm thankful that Christmas is the beginning of something much, much greater - as the haunting cross in the background of this manger scene reminds us. It's because of the grace of God and his son Jesus Christ that I even have anything in my life to be thankful for, and I never want to forget that. He has blessed me so immensely in my life, and this season is a celebration of him - not of me, or my family, or the much needed break from school. Because as cheesy as the phrase may be, Christ is the reason for the season.

May God bless you all in your Christmas holiday as richly as he has blessed me in my first semester at Grove City College.

To New Beginnings: The Classes

Seven weeks. The amount of time seems to fall in that odd range where it doesn't necessarily sound like a long time, but still seems like it's a ridiculously long time when you say "seven weeks" out loud. Regardless, it's been seven weeks since I started classes at Grove City College. In a lot of ways, that seems like no time at all. But I look back, and getting dropped off at college seems like a tiny dot on the horizon.

Since I moved in to Grove City, a lot of things have happened. I auditioned for Les Miserables and (thank God) I got in. Since I am in the ensemble, most of my time is taken up either studying or at rehearsals. But, of course, there are all of the traditional college activities, too. Football games, walks into town, dances and other parties, rush events... the list goes on. Since it has been seven weeks since I published a post on this blog (sorry, Mom), I think I'll give a series of posts about my life at college. So here's part one of To New Beginnings. 

So let's start with the actual college part. I'm taking 16 credits this semester (six classes, since one of them is only worth one credit). On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I take Chinese 101, Brit Lit, and Basic Music. On Tuesday and Thursday I take Western Civ, Fitwell, and Stagecraft.

Chinese has definitely been an adventure. Think of it this way: I'm basically learning two languages at once. There's pinyin (the romanization of Chinese), and then there are 中文 characters. (That's Zhongwen - Chinese.) I haven't honestly decided yet if I like it or not. In a lot of ways it's super interesting, and I know it will be super useful in the future if I want to do anything internationally, but it's not easy. Although, God has definitely given me a gift for languages, so it's not nearly as hard as it could be. Right now, Chinese is a gen ed credit, so I guess taking it any further will just depend on whether or not I have the credits free.

Brit Lit is the only class I'm taking for my major this year. Technically, it's "English Literature Survey", but no one calls it that. I can't decide how I feel about Brit Lit so far. The idea of the class is awesome, but we've only studied Middle English Literature so far, and that's definitely not my forte. However, there is my impending England trip keeping me engaged in the class. Dr. Brown (my Brit Lit prof) is leading a trip to England during May Intercession that I'm going to be going on. The picture on the right is Exeter Cathedral, one of the sights we'll be seeing. Since I committed to the trip, it seems like she likes me even more than normal, so I'm trucking my way through the class until we hit something I'm more interested in.

Basic Music just might be the most tedious class I've ever taken. Effectively it's music theory, to an extent that is barely greater than the 8th grade class at Trinity. And while I'm definitely learning new terms, I'm pulling an easy A in the class. Not that that's a bad thing, of course. Everyone needs an easy class, right?

Western Civ is a survey of Western History, beginning with the Paleolithic Era, and ending... well, I assume we'll end somewhere in modern times. Right now, however, we've hit the Holy Roman Empire, but a good chunk of our time focused on Greece and Rome (hence, the Colosseum). Even though Civ is my one 8am class, it's been alright.

If only our Fitwell gym was this cool. So far, Fitwell has been a series of lectures on healthy eating and how it's really important for us to exercise. Which is all well and good, but often seems like a waste of an hour. After break next week, though, we start our Fitwell "labs" (i.e. exercise sessions), so hopefully that will feel a bit more fulfilling.

Finally, there's Stagecraft. By far my favorite class, this is more or less what the set shop looks like when we're hanging out in there. So far, we've learned how to use all of the power tools, made a model "robot" (named Anna 2.0 - it doesn't move quite yet), and made a giant inflatable pyramid. Now we're working on making huge models out of foam. I'm enlarging one of the guy's pistols from Les Mis. Supposedly we'll be done before break, but I can tell you right now that's not happening.

So there it is! A basic overview of my first almost two months of classes. This coming week we only have three days (woo!) since it's fall break. I get to spend the weekend with my lovely friend Rachel, whose family was cool enough to open her house to a poor girl from Minnesota so she wasn't stuck on campus. My next post will (probably) appear sometime during break, and I'll update you all on the fun stuff I get to do at school. Cause after all, college isn't really about studying, is it? ;)

Transitions

So, no, not all of these posts will be entitled with a word ending in "tions", but this final post about the days leading into college (rather than the days during college) seemed like an appropriate final "tions" title. And besides, this past week has easily held the biggest transitions of my life.

Leaving home on August 15, I spent exactly one week with my family. Approximately 32 hours of this time was spent in a cramped minivan, four nights in three different hotels, four days and three nights in a New York city apartment. While the first two items on that list were less than ideal, the final adventure was incredible. Four days whirled by, with Times Square and the stars from two Broadway shows shining brightly, Lady Liberty regally guarding the harbor, and Central Park providing a welcome break from the skyscrapers throughout the city.

But among the hustle and bustle of the big city, a slight conflict of interests arose. I realized that I have a list the length of Chile dictating all of my passions and interests, and I have no idea which one of them to utilize in a career. I'm majoring in English with a minor in Theatre and probably another in National Security Studies. The low credit load required for the English major gives me the freedom to add a third minor if I choose to. But all of that is nothing to help me decide if I want to write, sing, act, enter the military or government intelligence or something else entirely. And I don't think I'll know any time soon, but for some reason that's not a problem.























On August 22, I moved into college and met my two amazing roommates, along with many of my other classmates. Since then I've made tons of friends, including some people I follow on Twitter, and the great gals living next door, but I also had to say goodbye to my best friends: my mom, my dad, and my sister. I also got my syllabus for Brit Lit and almost died reading the introductions to my textbooks to fulfill my assignment for Monday.

But in all of that transition, there's one steadfast - my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. And I strongly suspect that the coming week will be one of those times I look back and see one set of footprints in the sand, because I don't know how I'll get through my first week of classes if He's not carrying me.

Preparations

It's really happening.

Now, the above is not to say that I've been doubting my imminent journey to college. But suddenly it seems so much more real. Over the past month or so, I have managed to gather school supplies, bedding, kitchen supplies, bathroom supplies, and many wardrobe supplements (mostly because I graduated form a uniform school and realized I really only owned about 10 outfits I would ever be caught dead in). So the process of preparation has really been going on for quite some time. No, the above is not to say that I've been doubting the journey. It's more to say that the journey has crept up on me much more quickly than I thought. And (if I'm honest) probably a bit more quickly than I wanted it to.

I think this is coming to the forefront right now for a few reasons.

Firstly, there's these people:

But mostly this lovely lady:

who was kind enough to point out that this is the last week we have alone together before I leave for college. WHY would you remind me? WHY? Regardless, we will be baking banana bread and having coffee and doing loads of other brilliant things during our mommy-daughter day tomorrow.

And then there's this handsome fellow:

who's been spoiling me with dates all summer and already has video dates on the calendar where he will "provide money for a dinner and movie. Afterwards [I] have to call [him] to talk about the movie we saw. If [I] want to be really techie, [I] can take [my] laptop to dinner and we can Skype during dinner."

And I would be horridly remiss if I forgot to mention this beaut:

who has been serving God's children all summer at camp. As much as I approve of that, it's taking her away from me. So she'd best be planning to have a rockin' time in NYC before she drops me at college.

So besides the fact that I do, in fact, only have a few short weeks left living in my house with my family, there's these brilliant people as well. First, this gorgeous girl:

who I guarantee I have a picture with somewhere, considering that I've known her for over 16 years. However, it seems to be hiding in the recesses of my computer, and she's gorgeous on her own. Melody has been my closest friend for the 16 years I've known her, and today I had to say goodbye to her and her family until Thanksgiving. I knew it would be hard, but it was even harder than I imagined.

And I would not be doing this section of my post justice if I didn't reference each and every one of these darlings:

who I spent the most amazing five and a half years of my life (to date) with. It will be beyond weird not seeing any of their familiar faces in classes next year.

But beyond the goodbyes, there are so many other things looming to remind me that the journey is beginning. One is this:

which is not mine (I would never buy that Hello Kitty clock), but about sums up the crazy packing that my mother did the other day. *For the record, I was planning to just sort, but she went a bit crazy and actually packed a bunch of it. She said I have to pack everything else.*

And then, of course, there's these two dolls:

my annoyingly gorgeous roommates - Jordan (top) and Tia (bottom). Sorry to the other GCC girls, because I definitely hit the jackpot in the roommate department. While we are three totally different people (think Jordan went to the Justin Bieber concert, Tia went to the Warped Tour, and my two favorite bands are Imagine Dragons and Mumford & Sons), we all complement each other smashingly, and it's bound to be a good year.

To my great excitement, Tia will be flying in from Maryland on Tuesday to spend a week hanging out in the great state of Minnesota. (We've decided to print out a cutout of Jordan to carry around and take pictures with since her family vacation overlaps the dates my family was available to host.) (Also, I'm honestly still slightly in shock that our parents actually approved the week-long visit at all.)

And, in a super exciting turn of events, I get to visit this crazy city:

which I've never been to before but have heard brilliant (and terrifying) things about. No matter, the parents have generously agreed to put an extra three days into our road trip (and the sister took a week off of camp to do it) so we get to visit the famous New York City and (the most exciting part for me) see a show on Broadway.

And then, naturally, there's this:

which looms gloriously on the horizon, waiting to welcome me as a Grove City Wolverine with it's historical campus (established in 1876), and Crimson Pride. Not to mention my first real homecoming and school football game - for a school I actually attend, that is.

All in all, the first chapter of my life is coming to a close. Here's to the next: step one of The Long-Expected Journey.

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to." - J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Expectations

I considered calling this blog, "The Unexpected Journey." And in many ways, that title would have captured the very essence of the journey that I - and many others - will embark on in the coming weeks and months. This first post is dedicated to the Class of 2013 - all of them, whether I know them or not. To my closest friends, and to the graduates in small countries in Asia and Africa that I may not even have heard of.

"The Unexpected Journey" would have been appropriate. The next stage of our lives is definitely a journey, and there are sure to be unexpected bumps in the road along the way. But I didn't name this blog, "The Unexpected Journey." Because frankly, the journey (for many of us) was not unexpected at all. I have been expecting this journey for years and years. I can't remember a time when I wasn't expecting to journey to college. So I think the best way to sum up this first step into a new stage of life is in the words of this title.

"The Long Expected Journey".